Where Randomness Dominates

I haven’t posted anything serious in months. So here we go…

By now, you probably have heard or read about the Iranian Photoshopped missile blooper. Thanks to Al Gore for “the Internets,” it’s now quite a phenomena for itself!

I have nothing against the Photoshopping idea. In fact, I think it’s pretty damn smart. But there is an unnecessary risk when you ask a bunch of lobotomised monkeys to do it for you. In my humble opinion, if you really need to do it, you should do it properly. Do it like NASA faked the moon landing! Or do it like when JFK faked his own assassination! Or better yet, do it like the Iranian Ministry of Foreign Affairs does!!!

That’s right. Ministry of Foreign Affairs of the Islamic Republic of Iran. How do they do it? It’s easy. Put up a photo gallery of a bunch of awesome looking aircraft models as though they are ready to kick some Israeli butt! I mean, who would Google these kind of stuff. There is no way people could find out about it. And let’s be honest, western intelligence agencies cannot get any more useless. So… Bottom line: “why the hell not?!”

Moral of the story from the technical/geeky point of view is: Photoshop is over-rated. Models are the new shit!

UPDATE

It seems Russians have now picked the story up:
Pravda.ru (Original in Russian)
Rossiyskaya Gazeta (Original in Russian)
Sem 40 (Original in Russian)

p.s. Assuming that I’m a super famous person and everybody reads my blog, here is the screen shot of mfa.gov.ir (~210KB) and the rar archive of all the original photographs (~3.12MB), in case their servers went kaboom!

It’s been a while… Watch this clip till the end. You will lol!

One of my favourite marketing topics is segmentation. It’s about dividing the market into different segments and targeting whichever that is more related to what you sell. Apart from the extensive and expensive research, there is nothing complicated about it. I’ll explain later why I mentioned this…

You probably have heard of Kim Kardashian. She’s as talented as Paris Hilton and is more or less “famous” for the same reasons. Only difference is that while she and her fans think she looks sexy with her butt implants (or excess lard; if that’s what it is), I and everyone I know think she’s a mutant!

But that’s not important at all. What really matters is the message she is trying to get across in this clip: “Burping needs our help!”

I was going to give this week’s prize to Boris Johnson for his victory speech (he thanked the Police first before mentioning his wife; don’t ask me why!). But then, in the last minute I changed my mind. The fantastic Charles Ray Fuller was the reason…

Imagine cashing a $360bn cheque. It’s everyone’s dream. Charles Ray Fuller however, was the one man who had the guts to actually follow his dream. And he did it for a such a noble cause: “he wanted to start a record business.” (BBC)

I doubt if anyone deserves to be my Hero of the Week more than Charles Ray does. Good on you uncle brothah. Keep on the keepin’ on. ‘No’ whot I’m sayin’?! Yeeeah!

I don’t have a slightest clue who this guy is. But he sure is one hell of a monkey trainer!

Just think of it for a second: making a hundred monkeys doing funny thing at the same time without using a single banana. Even more extraordinary, he speaks monkey language! I mean, I knew monkeys can speak human. But I never knew man could speak monkey! It takes some unique skills, don’t you think?!

Anyway, since I know I can never do this in a million years, I’m crowning this smooth talking twat as my Hero of the Week!

People do weird things when they are bored. I myself for example, drink more coffee and play Solitaire! But that’s nowhere as extreme as what the 28 years old Austrian, pip9999 does on his spare time.

Without a doubt, there is no way I could ever come up with such brilliantly inspiring ideas. Not even if I’m on some sort of a super drug. Not even if I’m bitten by a super spider. There is just no possible way. And for that, Hero of the Week award goes to pip9999: The man who made me feel embarrassed in the privacy of my own room where nobody was watching!!!

There is a first time for everything. 9th of March to 9th of April was the first 30 days ever that this blog went without a new post. I have no plans to improve this record, but you’ll never know.

I upgraded to WordPress 2.5 last night. I kindda like the new interface. But I’m not yet used to it. I’ve also signed up with SocialSpark: Some sort of community, marketing and advertising all combined in one.

That’s it for now. The blood in my alcohol stream is running low. I’m off to the pub.

NSFW Video!!!

If you don’t know The Guy From Boston, in a nutshell, Peter Griffin can beat him in an IQ test and he’s as funny as a rubber glove!!! His videos were recently taken down from YouTube. Try MetaCafe or LiveLeak if want proof!

Anyway… Just because I don’t like him, doesn’t mean that he cannot be my Hero of the Week! You got to give it to the guy when he makes the best career move he could have ever hoped for. It’s only a matter of time before he beats Triumph the Insult Dog, Ann coulter and Bill O’Reiley all together in a popularity contest! Want to know how he did all that? It’s a no brainer: He now works for Fox News!!! If that’s not the best way to reach out to more audience, I don’t know what is.

For proving once again that everything I ever thought Fox News was were correct, Joe Ligotti, you are my Hero of the Week!

Thanks to Greg for the heads up, I watched Taxi to the Dark Side on BBC iPlayer last night. Powerful stuff. In fact, I found it horrifying at some points.

Torture is as old as history books. All the horrible things the Spanish Inquisition did to non-believers in the name of Religion are very well known to those who read and research. So are the things Josef Mengele did. But hearing that similar techniques are used every day in the name of democracy, and realising that it is happening as you read this should scare you $hitless. Realising that there are forgotten people out there, imprisoned for nobody knows what reason, awaiting a miracle to end their misery, to me, as a person who hates fascists as much as he hates terrorists is truly horrifying.