Dear Mr President!
If I had the chance to interview Dubya, this would have been a realistic script:
- Thank you sir for giving me this opportunity. I appreciate it.
- Sure thing, Jimbo. It’s good to be here.- I’d like to start with your foreign policy. Without further ado, will you or will you not attack Iran?
- Errm, well, we have information that Iranians are planning to attack New York once again.- “Iranians” means all of them. I am one of them. Are you sure we’ll be attacking New York soon? And what did you mean by “once again”?
- I cross my heart. They attacked us before. They will do it again!- No sir. They have never attacked the US. Anyway, where does your information come from?
- George said to me the other day. Maybe it was Mexicans who attacked us. Dunno exactly!- George?
- Yea, Tenet. The CIA dude!- I thought he resigned last June!
- Hmm, is that so?- Yes sir. I’m absolutely sure about that.
- Aaah well, who cares! Write: the new CIA guy!- Did he say how will they attack?
- “Nuclrear” attack. They’re gonna bomb every single McDonalds in the Manhattan!- It’s Nuclear, sir. Not Nuclrear! Don’t you think that’s a good reason to prove their friendship with the American people?
- No way dude! We can’t live without burger. Haven’t you ever heard of BBB?- No sir.
- Beer, Burger and Boobies!- What is it that you don’t like? What would you like Iranians to attack instead of McDonalds?
- Mosques!- Well that doesn’t make scene to me, sir. You see, we don’t have diners every here and there in Iran. Without mosques, there is no way to travel with car from one town to another.
- And how is that?- What do McDonalds and Mosques have in common?
- I have to ask my advisors first!- No need for that sir. The answer is Toilet! They also smell the same!
- Now I see where you’re heading to. We’ve never think of it that way!- “We”?
- Yea. Me and Dick!- So my point is whether Iranians attack New York and nuke its McDonalds branches or become your friend and build mosques in your cities, you won’t get hurt.
- Yea. It’s brilliant. I like it that way! How old are you son?- 24, sir. I used to be a huge Arnie fan. I had his posters all over my room when I was 8~9 years old.
- Yea that Nazi Democrat prick!- He’s a Republican, mr President!
- Oh yea? Cool. So he’s with us. Awesome!- Yea awesome. I go2go now. I’ve got an early lecture tomorrow. Say hello to Dick for me!
- Sure thing. You say hello to England for me. Tell them “it ain’t rainin’ here. Boohoo!”!- Will do. Byeee!
- Bye.
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You’re currently reading “Dear Mr President!” on My Brain Dumper!
- Published:
- 04.02.05 / 1am
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- Brain Dumps
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