France vs. England!

France wins. You know why? For many reasons…

• Everything is cheaper in the most expensive night club in the most expensive ski resort in France than your university’s student union bar in England.

• You don’t stink of smoke when you walk out of a French night club.

• You can’t buy junk food in France. If you ask for Jacket Potato and Mayonnaise for your main course, you’ll be executed on the spot. And that’s a good thing!

• The French know how to enjoy their drink! Instead of screaming like a monkey, they sit back and enjoy the English tourists acting like circus freaks!

• Coffee machines in gas stations in France serve better coffee than the fanciest English cafés. And it’s only €1.5!

• The French proudly do not support “the War of Terror,” as Borat puts it!

• When you hold a door for the French, they thank you and smile back at you!

• French Jandarms kick the shit out of the rude and noisy drunks who scare everyone on the streets. They don’t pat them on the head and call them “mate,” like the English Police!

• You don’t feel like you are walking in a ghost town when you’re out after 6pm in France!

• It snows in France!

• French people are rude only when it’s necessary, Not 24/7!

• The French know what to wear and when to wear it. You hardly find an Arctic Seal dressed up like a stripper when hell has frozen over!!!

… I can go on and on but I won’t because I can’t be arsed to type more. Why I live in England, you ask? Because I don’t speak French.

Related posts:

• Last Supper! (6)
• Ice Cream…! (4)
• Home, Sweet Home! (2)
• For The Smart, Only! (1)
• You’ve Been Paris’d, Again! (0)